The Things You Want
by Serenity Goddess
Summary: (L/L) He wondered what she could possibly say next that wouldn’t have been possible for her to say from the counter. Not that he minded being closer to her, but he had long learnt that it’s better to keep the things you want further away from you...


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The Things You Want  
  
"Is a dream a lie if it doesn't come true? / Or is it something worse?"  
----  
He heard the tired bell ring, as the door of the diner swung open. It was late, and he was not expecting any more customers – but she walked in as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He felt his heart race as it did every time he was within ten feet of her. He wondered if his eyes betrayed how he felt, so he looked away.  
  
Luke picked up one of the chairs and turned it over, placing it on the table beside him. She walked behind him and chose instead to sit at the counter. She drummed her fingers, and she bit her lower lip. He hated it when she did that, because it made him think about how he wanted to kiss her, and he couldn't have thoughts like that when he should be cleaning up.  
  
"Need a hand?" Lorelai asked, but he could tell she wasn't really expecting him to answer in the affirmative. If she only knew that by being there, she was doing more than he could ever hope for.  
  
He shook his head. "We're closed, ya know. Usually that means you're not supposed to come in."  
  
"I know," she said, her words escaping in a sigh. "I was bored sitting at home. I thought we could go out and do the salsa or something."  
  
Luke stopped pretending to clean for a moment to look at her. He rested his hand on the table beside him, and absent mindedly shoved the other into his pocket. "That would be hard, considering that's a type of sauce. But if you're asking me to go dancing, you must have really hit an all time low."  
  
"Yup, I had a free fall from rock bottom a couple of hours ago." She put her purse on the counter, and made as if she was looking for something. The two of them both knew that the only thing she was looking for was something to distract her.  
  
"It's not like she's gone forever, you know." Luke hoped it wasn't as corny as it sounded. It would not do for him to have a reputation of being the town platitude-giver. That was what Taylor was for. "You'll see her on weekends, sometimes. And holidays."  
  
"I know," she sighed. Since Rory went to Yale, he noticed that Lorelai sighed more and laughed less. "It's just that … I'm not used to it yet, I guess. Maybe it takes time to grow on me… like fungus. Fungus is good, right?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"I go home to an empty house everyday and I wonder what I'm going to do. I mean, I think I'm going crazy. I have no one to talk to, and yesterday I watched a whole movie without making a single comment. It's weird. It's very Outer Limits-y." He smiled at her reference, obviously made for his enjoyment, and for his alone. She smiled back at him. "Hey, I do speak geek now and then."  
  
"Join the club." Luke gave her a lop-sided grin. He regretted it instantly, because it just seemed weird. When was the last time he grinned at anything? Sure, a smile here and there was okay, but grinning was just out of the question.  
  
"Wow, never saw your teeth before," Lorelai observed. "You have very pretty teeth."  
  
"Thanks." He turned around and swung another chair upside down, putting it on top of the table deftly. "I'll let my dentist know."  
  
"You should." She stood, and walked slowly up to him. He heard her approaching, and wondered what she could possibly say next that wouldn't have been possible for her to say from the counter. Not that he minded being closer to her, of course, but he had long learnt that it's better to keep the things you want further away from you. Seconds later, he heard her voice from behind him. "How come you always wear your cap backwards?"  
  
"What?" He turned around, and found that she was standing closer to him that he had thought. He fidgeted, and seemed uncomfortable at the lack of distance between them. The last time he was this close to her, they just looked at each other and she told him she had to go. He wondered what she would say this time.  
  
"Your cap." Lorelai's voice was softer than he remembered, and it sounded … almost invited. Maybe he was reading too much into it. Or maybe he was asleep, and it's time for another Lorelai fantasy. "Why don't you wear it like it was meant to be worn?"  
  
She reached out for his cap, but her fingers grazed the side of his face. Her touch was cool, and in response, he felt his face turn red and flustered.  
  
"Oops. Sorry." Her words were like a whisper now, and he felt like she was doing this on purpose.  
  
Tormenting him.  
  
Daring him.  
  
She lifted his cap, and turned it around in her hands, before placing it back on his head. "This could be a new look for you, you know."  
  
"Is that good or bad?" His voice nearly cracked. This was ridiculous. He was a grown man, with a usually gruff voice. How dare she make him sound like a thirteen year old boy on the verge of puberty. He swallowed hard.  
  
"Depends on how you look at it, I guess." Lorelai was still doing her sexy voice bit. The seconds crawled by, and he wanted to kiss her. As if she read his thoughts, she licked her lips slowly. "They're both good. The old look, and the new."  
  
"Good how?" Ah, familiar territory. This was a game they had played before.  
  
"Just good."  
  
For a moment, it was as if they were suspended in time. He was not sure of what happened next, but he reached out and pulled her close. She did not resist, which was usually a good sign. He pressed his lips on to hers, cautiously at first, but when she responded in kind, he felt all his inhibitions slip away. He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her neck.   
  
She moaned. He thought he had died and gone to heaven.  
"Luke." She managed to get his name out between heavy breaths. He stopped, and she pulled back instinctively.  
  
"I'm sorry." He felt his face turning red again. She was going to give him the speech soon. It was a mistake, and that she didn't want to ruin their friendship.  
  
He shouldn't have done that.   
  
He wouldn't have, either, if it wasn't for her stupid sexy voice and her stupid flirtatious way of doing things. It was really all her fault.  
  
"Can I stay here tonight?"  
  
He balked, and his jaw fell open. His mind tried to comprehend and analyze all the information he was receiving, but it wasn't doing a good job. He didn't understand. She didn't reject him. The best response he could offer at that time was a monosyllabic, almost inaudible one. "Huh."   
  
Lorelai ran her index finger across the buttons on his flannel shirt. "I don't want to be alone. And I don't think you want to either. Not after that."  
  
And then he understood. It was not really Lorelai. At least not really. She was lonely, and she wasn't thinking straight. Because there would be no way this would be happening in any other situation. "Lorelai, you're probably just upset…"  
  
"I want this." She had summarized her feelings with three simple words. She grabbed his collar and pulled him towards her, drawing him in for another intoxicating kiss. He wondered; how is it that her lips could feel both hot and cool at the same time. Her hands ran across his back, and he felt his jeans get tighter.  
  
He had never wanted anything more in his life.  
  
"Okay." If Lorelai had done it with three words, he could definitely declare his feelings with just one.  
  
*  
  
Luke was glad he got that double bed when Lorelai told him to, because his old bed would have been terribly cramp. They tore at each other's clothes with such ferocity that surprised even themselves.  
  
He shivered as she ran her tongue across his naked flesh. Was it wrong that one woman could make him feel this good? His lips met hers again, as he pulled himself on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him; her nails digging into his shoulders. She made sounds he never imagined she would be making for him.   
  
They continued kissing for an eternity, their bodies entwined in each other. His lips roamed her body eagerly – her hands roamed his. In his bed, they felt like they were the only two people in the universe. There was no Rory, no Jess.  
  
Just Luke… and Lorelai.  
*  
  
They laid under the covers, breathing heavily, each unsure of what to say now that the act was over. He held her hand, and gently kissed her fingertips. "What now?"  
  
"I don't know," she replied, and she was honest.  
  
Luke let out a sigh. It was ridiculous. He had the most beautiful woman in the world, naked, lying next to him, and he didn't know what to say. He had had this dream a thousand times over, and somehow there he was unusually articulate, and charmingly suave.  
  
He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and how much he worshipped her, but he knew it would only scare her away. And holding her close like this – it was all he ever wanted in this life.  
  
"So, this is like that awkward after sex stage, isn't it?" Lorelai tried to make a quip, but failed miserably. "I've read about it."  
  
A sudden thought struck him. "You don't hate me, do you?"  
  
She looked genuinely surprised. "No. Why?"  
  
"I… I don't know. You were upset, I was… I don't want you to think I took advantage of you."  
  
Lorelai looked at him, and a smile crept across her face. He was not sure what that meant, but it was definitely better than her crying or screaming at him. "No, I don't think that."  
  
"Ah. Good… because, you know…"  
  
"Shh." She placed her index finger on his lips, effectively silencing him from any more of his insecure ramblings. "I wanted this. I still do."   
  
"So do I," he answered. "But where do we go from here?" Damn, he thought, Mr. Platitude strikes again. It sounded like a line from a cheap romance novel.  
  
"I don't know. Let's just enjoy where we are right now, before we think about where we're going. Can we do that?" She snuggled up to him and rested her head against his shoulder.  
  
"Okay." He closed his eyes and went to sleep.  
  
For once, his dreams weren't that far from reality.  
  
* the end *  
  
A/N: Okay, this was a little more dramatic (and racy!) than my usual work. Wondering what you think about it. Feedback please. I'm a feedback whore. 


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